Three times Charlotte was a good girl, and one time she was the best g
by Nemainofthewater
Summary: 'Woof' says the dog, wagging its, her?-Ben surreptitiously checks between its legs-her tail weakly. Caleb looks up with a sheepish grin, and Ben looks between the two pairs of wide, pleading, eyes. 'Fine' he says, throwing up his hands, 'But if you get caught I'm not the one explaining it to His Excellency' Caleb brings home a dog, Ben is resigned, Hamilton is mistaken


**You shot him in the side**

 _aaron_

 _Not again_

"Your Excellency," he said, letting none of his frustration show as he made his obeisance.

"Mister Burr," Washington replied, inclining his head.

Silence fell.

Finally Aaron sighed, defeated. He could already feel a headache forming, one that he was tempted to name after Hamilton in the half-hearted hope that once named it would lose all power. Hah. Yeah right.

"Where is the patient then?"

The sides Washington's mouth curled up in what may charitable have been called a smile, but what Aaron took as a portent of doom.

"Do step in mister Burr. Colonel Hamilton is resting in his tent, although he may yet have escaped."

At this, Aaron finally allowed himself a scowl. Having treated Hamilton for everything from hypothermia, to 'minor wounds', to his seasonal illnesses-

("Burr you don't understand. If you don't help treat this headache, then I can't concentrate, and if I can't concentrate then I can't write, and if I can't write then the army will grind to a halt, which means that you will be the sole cause of the defeat of the Confederate army! Don't roll your eyes at me Burr!"

"Hamilton, you can't even stand. I am not giving you something for your headache, I am ordering bed rest for at least three days, and if you don't comply I am willing to get your friends to _sit on you_.")

-to actual gunshot wounds (that somehow still manage to be 'minor' according to the idiot), to exhaustion he was well versed in all the ways that Hamilton could avoid seeing a medic. The only reason he had a patient to treat most of the time was due to Hamilton's as of yet obedience to the General.

"He has better be there. Sir," he replied, adding the honorific absent minded-ly.

His headache manifested in full force. Every single time he regretted becoming a medic, it all linked back to Hamilton. With any luck whatever ailed the other man would need bloodletting.

 _alexander_

"We can't let Lee get away with this!" Alexander fumed. Bad enough that he was a coward, and a liar, and had led thousands of men to their deaths, but to blame Washington for it? Washington, without whom the army would fall apart? He would not put up with this slander!

"Someone ought to hold Lee to his words," John suggested.

Hamilton was torn. He longed to shoot that incompetent imbecile in the face, but…

"I can't disobey direct orders," he ground out.

Then John, dear John grinned and his heart lightened.

"Then I'll do it. The General hasn't given _me_ any orders. Alexander, you can be my second."

Alexander embraced John exuberantly.

"Laurens, do not throw away your shot!" he enthused. Then, his brain started working, thinking of all practicalities and logistics that he would have to sort through, to ensure that the General wouldn't find out about the duel until it was too late… they would need to make an official challenge, find an isolated spot if the peace talks weren't successful (and he was certain that they would not be), find a Doctor willing to…wait a minute…

Everything was coming together!

 _interlude: caleb_

"Aaron Burr, sir!" Colonel Hamilton bounded up, not even acknowledging Caleb.

Burr didn't stop bandaging, although Caleb thought, with a wince, that his movements had become jerkier and more violent.

"Hamilton," Burr replied evenly, ignoring Caleb's grunts of pain.

"Did you need something? As you can no doubt see, I am rather busy."

Hamilton finally glanced over, and noticed that he was there.

"I'm sure that Brewster won't mind. Now Burr, I need you to be on the East side of camp at dawn tomorrow, with your medical kit."

"No."

"But you don't even know what it's for!"

Burr started to put away his equipment.

"Lieutenant Brewster, stay off that leg. I will go directly to Major Tallmadge if I must and inform him of your injures."

Caleb snorted.

"I'm not like Benny boy, am I? I have enough sense to make sure that I'm well before raring off into battle. Unlike some people here I could name."

Here, Caleb winked at Hamilton and sauntered off leaving the man spluttering behind him.

He could still here faintly in the distance:

"Come on Burr, you know that you're the only medic that still speaks to me,"

"I'm _don't_ speak to you! And there is no way that I am going to be party to your duel with Charles Lee…"

 _aaron_

Aaron shivered in the dawn air. He knelt down, and checked the contents of his medical kit once again. He frowned, looking at its meagre contents. They had few enough medical supplies that wasting more on foolishness like duels was dumb and immature.

What's more, he wasn't even able to watch the duel proceed, forced to turn around to maintain his deniability. He knew that there was little chance that Hamilton would be called on to take place in the duel, as there was no way that Laurens would miss the opportunity to shoot Lee, but he couldn't help but feel that Hamilton would find some way to get shot…

Brewster caught his eye, waving from where he was lounged again a tree. There was no sign of Tallmadge, but there was no doubt that Brewster would report every moment back to him: everyone knew how the major felt about Lee.

He could hear the counting now, and he tensed.

"…Paces, Fire!"

BANG

Aaron whirled around and sprinted toward the duel, shoving Hamilton and Edwards aside (some small part of him glad that miraculously Hamilton had managed not to get shot) and landing next to Lee, immediately putting pressure on the wound.

"Lee, do you yield?" Hamilton called over, clearly high on adrenaline and almost giddy.

"You shot him in the side! Yes, he yields," Aaron snapped back.

Honestly, why did he even put up with that vacuous ass?

The wound was bleeding heavily, and Aaron frowned at the amount of blood staining the ground. If they worked quickly and returned to the medical tents within the hour, then they should at least be able to avoid any inconvenient questions…

"Here comes the General!"

…Of course. Why was he even surprised. Sometimes Aaron _really_ wanted to shoot Hamilton himself.

Well so long as Hamilton didn't drag him into any more duels…

 **Notes:** Unfortunately for Burr, there were in fact many more duels and challenges throughout Hamilton's life:

Reverend William Gordon (1779) - Accused of wanting to overthrow the government

Aedanus Burke (1790) - Accused of lying

John Francis Mercer (1792-93) -Accused of buying government debt at inflated prices to help speculators

James Nicholson (1795) - Accused of being corrupt and a coward

Republican Party (1795) - Bad day

Maturin Livingston (1795 and 1796) - Accepted above challenge

James Monroe (1797) - Accused of speculation and slander

John Adams (1800) - Accused of everything, but specifically of being a member of a British faction

Ebenezer Purdy/George Clinton (1804) - Accused of plotting to put a son of George III on an American throne in exchange for Canada

Aaron Burr (1804) - Accused of character defamation through libel. Only instance where Hamilton did not initiate the challenge.


End file.
